Introducing another care giver at bed time.

If you’re wanting to introduce another parent or care giver at bed time, there are lots of things you can do to prepare baby and make this a smooth transition for them to settle for someone else at this time.

This can be done at any age or stage, so don’t worry if your child’s older and been used to you doing bed time, they will adapt with a gentle and gradual approach. Also if they’re very young this is a fantastic time to start so they’re used to having that other person there for bedtime too.

Start by doing bed time together, involve the second parent or caregiving in the whole of the bed time routine, beginning with just having them there and gradually over time giving them more of the active role. This can start off with them doing the washing in the bath with you still present, then you continue bed time with them present, in a day or so they can then do bath and getting PJs on etc until they’re taking on the whole role of bed time but you are still present and then gradually doing the reverse until the second parent/caregiver does the entire routine independently

Use the same routine. Babies and children love routine, and their bedtime routine is an important one so where possible keep the same routine for anyone doing bedtime. It is completely fine if baby is breastfed to replace that feed with a bottle if necessary and they are happy taking a bottle but keep everything in the same order and just replace how that feed is given.

Let them find their own way! They might not do everything the same as you, and that is ok, they will find their own unique way to settle and bond with them. It is a wonderful time for them both to learn more about each other and explore their relationship while using the same routine. You might find that they bond over a certain book together at story time, or they settle differently to you when it’s bed time and this allows the child to also set their own boundaries and find comfort in others at bed time as well as you.

Once settling with someone else it can also feel like a relief for the main care giver that some of the bed time responsibility can be shared, it can also mean for many they’re able to return to work or social activities and hobbies knowing bed time will be taken care of.